Failure in Relationships

The Broncos (Denver) lost the playoff game.  One player stepped up after the announcers, spectators, commentators, and other doofusii made their pronouncements about who was to blame.  This player took responsibility for losing the game.  Guts, no glory, no Ra... sorry, that's a commercial.  It took courage to blame himself and only himself.

But he is wrong.  A team and a game is about relationships.  No single action or lack of action destroys a game and no single action or lack of action destroys a relationship.  Losing a game is not losing a relationship, either.  Next season comes along with new hope and new possibilities. 

When a person says, "I can't stay in relationship with XXX" he or she is making a decision based on a history of decisions, actions, lack of actions, or . . . serious mental illness.  And the mental illness had been growing for some time. 

I don't mean simple psychosis, of course.  Our culture nurtures the feel-good-all-the-time mental illness, the "if it weren't for. . . " mental illness, the "instant gratification" mental illness.  When someone commits to some variant of these ideologies in some deep way, maybe not even knowing she or he is making that commitment, the person become mentally unstable, unable to relate well. 

Relationships involve give and take, acceptance and forgiveness, self-blame, other blame and reluctance to blame.  Energy, patience, and pacing are all involved in starting, developing and maintaining, even growing, relationships.  At least, that's how I see it. 

What has been your experience?  Leave a comment and let us know. 

Musing About Relationships - Beginnings

Relationships energize. 
Relationships suck. 
Relationships live.
Relationships give life meaning. 
Relationships take meaning away and flush it down the toilet.

All true.  All false.  I suppose you can say, "It depends."

Most of us (but not all of us) are born into relationships.  We have one or two parents.  We may have one or more siblings.  We may have grandparents, aunts, cousins, uncles, godparents and more.

Or not. 

A few people are born with the mother dying giving birth, no father on the scene, only distressed nurses and maybe a doctor in attendance.  Or maybe no other person in a shabby room or dirty alley, but someone finds us before we die. 

How many of us get so involved in our pain that we forget that somebody or some somebodies gave us shelter, food, and some sort of relationship even if it was less than wonderful? 

"Shut that kid up!" yelled the girl as she sat up in bed.  Her little sister stopped crying, and dumbfounded parents watched the older girl fall back asleep.

Relationships energize.
Relationships suck. 
Relationships live.
Relationships give life meaning. 
Relationships take meaning away and flush it down the toilet. 

I want to reflect on relationships in the next few months or years, and ask you for your experiences, your opinions, your comments.  Please avoid profanity, juvenile ranting, irrelevant posturing. 

Leave a comment now and let us know what you think.