Failure in Relationships

The Broncos (Denver) lost the playoff game.  One player stepped up after the announcers, spectators, commentators, and other doofusii made their pronouncements about who was to blame.  This player took responsibility for losing the game.  Guts, no glory, no Ra... sorry, that's a commercial.  It took courage to blame himself and only himself.

But he is wrong.  A team and a game is about relationships.  No single action or lack of action destroys a game and no single action or lack of action destroys a relationship.  Losing a game is not losing a relationship, either.  Next season comes along with new hope and new possibilities. 

When a person says, "I can't stay in relationship with XXX" he or she is making a decision based on a history of decisions, actions, lack of actions, or . . . serious mental illness.  And the mental illness had been growing for some time. 

I don't mean simple psychosis, of course.  Our culture nurtures the feel-good-all-the-time mental illness, the "if it weren't for. . . " mental illness, the "instant gratification" mental illness.  When someone commits to some variant of these ideologies in some deep way, maybe not even knowing she or he is making that commitment, the person become mentally unstable, unable to relate well. 

Relationships involve give and take, acceptance and forgiveness, self-blame, other blame and reluctance to blame.  Energy, patience, and pacing are all involved in starting, developing and maintaining, even growing, relationships.  At least, that's how I see it. 

What has been your experience?  Leave a comment and let us know.