Toxic People - Two

I have been in a number of toxic relationships.  Sometimes I knew it.  Other times I did not know what was happening.  Part of the difficulty with toxic people is that only a very few are toxic all the time.  Most people make us sick once in a while, and we learn to bend, adapt, take our relational medications, or whatever.  Sometimes we even believe we only deserve such people in our lives. 

In the modern, mostly urban setting in which we live, the easiest thing to do it to move away from toxic people.  Avoid them.  Cast them out.  Pretend they do not exist.  However. . .

Some toxic people work where we work.  Unless we change jobs every few weeks we cannot totally avoid them.  Some people who seem toxic to us go to the same school as we do.  Some are bullies, others are just drags down the classes we are in.  Many cling to us like barnacles to a ship's hull, dragging it slower and slower on it's journey through the sea.

What strategies have you figured out, or been taught, that permit you to remain in some sort of relationship with the toxic people in your life without being dragged in a direction you don't want to go?  How have you figured out ways to be the best person you can be while embracing many kinds of people including difficult people? 

Leave a comment and let us know what's working for you (and what is not working). 

Toxic People -- One

I recall a neighbor who knew what everyone else should believe, should do, and imposed her views belligerently on all she met.  Often she was out there in wacko land, but Boy! did she come on strong.

She was active in her church, and took it upon herself to counsel young women.  She counseled one to leave her husband and break up the marriage of a professional sports player (who was also married) because she had had a vision or a dream.  She was toxic!

Ah!  The ying and the yang.  Some people loved her and found her wonderful.  Others found her as poisonous as as spitting, mature viper. 

What shall we do with toxic people?  Cut them out of our lives?  Learn to ignore their foolishness and appreciate their good points?  Lock them up?

What do you think?  I hope we can  converse about this.  Please leave a comment. 

Relate to a Rock?

I have heard people say they related to a rock.  Or, related to a mountain.  Or, relate to a tree.

OK.  I think I get it.

Think about it:  a person can "relate" to a thing, a situation, a feeling, a dilemma.  "I can related to that!" says your counselor or pastor or friend.  But no matter what you believe, you cannot have a relationship with a rock, a mountain, a tree or any other "lump".  It takes two or more who communicate back and forth  for a relationship to exist.

Perhaps you have enjoyed a relationship with someone.  You talked often, you shared back and forth about this, that and the other thing.  Then this other person moved, or quit speaking to you, or died.  End of relationship.

You can say, "I had a relationship with __________."  You can say, "________ and I used to have a relationship."  But without the two way communication functioning, you don't have one now.

What has been your experience?  Leave a comment and share with us.