A couple we know, middle aged, with their own children, have strong needs to be victims. Each was raised with some joy, some pain, but with supportive families and friends. In other words, they were raised like many of us. Both were required to move once or twice during their childhood, and did so with grace and confidence.
For some reason, however, each became a person who has to be a star in his/her own drama. To be the "victim star", however, they have to be victims. Thus, after pondering their plight, each has chosen to rewrite history. In spite of support from parents, they have "abandonment issues". In spite of parent participating in their lives, they grew up oh-so-lonely. Well, you get the picture.
Being victims, abandoned, and so forth, they now can choose crappy ways of relating, or not relating, to their families. They feel justified. And they relate badly.
Any one who wants an excuse for self-centered choices rather than positive relational choices, can find such an excuse. Maybe you have chosen to be the victim in your own drama. What kind of choices are you making? Are you accepting of reasonably OK relationships with a variety of imperfect people?
Have you encountered folks who have to be the stars of their own drama? Have you been hurt by such people? Have you resisted the urge to rewrite your own history and found genuine self-acceptance whatever your history?
Leave a comment and let us know what you think, or something of your experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please add a comment. I value insights, experiences, and aspirations. I suspect our readers value your insights and comments as well.