I had good friends in high school. Young men I cared about who who, I believed, cared about me. One died in a construction accident. Another got a good job selling cars, married, and I have never seen him since his wedding. Another apprenticed, became a journeyman, married and had a child. I saw him two or three times after high school and never since.
"That was what life did to you, he supposed. Wiped out important things and replaced them with other important things."
David Baldacci, "The Forgotten", p. 39
One of the characters in Baldacci's novel reflects the reality of relationships. While I am, by nature, loyal to a fault, few others are. I move, they move, one changes jobs and it's too much effort to stay connected. After awhile (a few days, weeks, or years, they find it too much trouble to stay connected. Important relationships are wiped out, and (one hopes) are replaced by new important relationships.
Or not. After awhile it doesn't seem as worth the effort as it once did.
I find it helps to change my expectations. I don't expect today's friend to be there for me tomorrow. Cynical? Realistic? Certainly sad, from one point of view. We lose. We gain. We die.
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